A New Creation

My weight and life have been a roller coaster since I can remember. As the stress in my life increases the amount of food I ingest readily increases in relation. It began as a child, I sought comfort at night especially with Ice cream or any sort of snack that appealed to me at the time. As I moved out to nursing school my unhealthy habits continued. Sitting and studying for long periods brought the freshmen five to twenty five pounds. Prior to my marriage I did loose 60lbs and made it to the 130's but only for a brief period. My weight at my marriage was already back to the 170's and 2 children eight years apart brought my weight in 2009 to 241 pounds. At 5' 4" that made my BMI 42, (which over 40 is morbidly obese). Looking at needing to loose 100 pounds was depressing to say the least and something I could not even think about doing.

God was there all the time. He would lead me to people that had lost nearly that much weight and seeing that encouraged me. I went for my yearly physical bringing all my complaints to my physician, "I don't feel like I sleep well, I'm tired all of the time, I've got no energy." Every complaint I had- his reaction to solving the problem was, "you know what can fix that don't you!" He also said, "in another ten years it would be even harder to loose weight." Yes I knew, I just didn't want to embark on such a time consuming activity. I pouted for a couple of months and began cholesterol medication. God was working on me during that time as I prayed for knowledge, perseverance and endurance to take on another task.

In my kitchen I have posted the fruit of the spirit, "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control." Every time I read that verse God spoke directly to my heart, "You need me instead of those chocolate kisses, I can make your path straight. Please seek me!" Later when I continued not to listen to that little voice inside I started to realize how bad I felt when I ate certain foods or ate too much. I likened it to someone abusing a substance. I would feel lethargic, pass out on the couch and sleep from my carbohydrate high. How can I do what God wants me to do when I'm in a drunken stupor from food? This is not what God has in store for my life but what the devil wants. I asked myself is this any different than what Eve battled inside the garden? No.

December 26, 2009, I felt ready to take the challenge. As in Deuteronomy 2:3, I had circled this mountain long enough. Now I was ready to turn north. My physician encouraged Weight Watchers, which I had done before and knew it worked. I just did not like the costly meetings. Weight Watchers online was an answer to prayer. I used it to track my food intake, portion size and to keep motivated. Next what to eat became an issue. I wanted to loose weight to feel better so the right type of foods needed to be included. I envied people like Oprah who could hire a person to make all her healthy meals. I found a site online called Saving Dinner, it is made by a dietician and is full of menu suggestions for people who want to eat more healthy. I subscribed to it receiving weekly menus that gives me ideas of different foods to eat. I have something different everyday which helps with motivation to keep eating for the correct reason.

In May, I was finally to a weight (~190's) that I felt I could exercise and not hurt myself too bad. I always enjoyed Jazzercise so I started that 2-3 times per week. On days I work I started going to the gym at the hospital before work 3 times per week doing weight training or some kind of cardio equipment. It really helped with my weight loss but by the end of summer I had a large inguinal hernia. I had to stop exercise and it was repaired in October. It has been difficult loosing since October but during this big roller coaster "hill" of having surgery I did not gain but maintained.

Reflecting over the year of my weight loss God did direct my path and he used his supernatural power to give me strength to work on my weight issues. There is no other way I could have done this without him walking by my side. He was the one that told me in

1 Corinthians 6:12 that "everything is permissbile for me"- but not everything is beneficial... I will not be masterd by anything." Words of encouragement like this really helped me pass by those free samples at Sam's and all the fast food restaurants I pass on my way home after working 12 hours. Yes God made sugar to eat but like movies on TV, is it good for us? Can we use it for his glory if we over indulge? I now have more energy and have lost close to 70lbs. My BMI is around 29 and that is considered just overwieht not obese. My goal is to get my BMI to a halthy weight which is another 25lbs. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." I am that new creation!

Prayer:

Lord, I praise you for you know my story. From beginning to end you see it all. Give me the obedience to admit my limitaions and ask you for your supernatural power you freely give to those who believe. For I don't alwasy see the past accurately, my vision fo the present is often blurred and I am blind when it comes to the future. Jehovah El Roi help me fix my eyes on you trusting in your perception for my life and your vigilant care. In His Holy name, Amen.